This is Life in the 21st Century?

I am a little bit surprised with my survival skills… at least considering my issues with depression and such. I have weathered this downgrade in lifestyle pretty well all things considered. I have been able to adjust to living without electricity, running water and heat for most of the last couple years. I am not sure about the next step down. I don’t know how I would fare if I lost my truck…. my freedom and shelter. I am afraid I am too sane to live on the streets out of a shopping cart. Maybe I should spend my last wad of cash on a half gallon of LSD and fry my way to Schizophrenia. Take my brain someplace nice where I can’t put enough of my thoughts together to figure out what has become of my life or where that awful smell is coming from. Then I can enjoy my new role of terrorizing the well heeled shoppers on the Portland Streetcar and scaring children straight. 

I feel like I am overboard in a roaring river… caught in the current and grasping at the weeds and brush along the bank hoping to catch hold of something to pull myself out. Who would have thought this would be my life in the 21st Century? 

I am not alone in this river either. Plenty of people feel the same way today. Most of them don’t even share my handicap of artistic aspirations. There are entire families caught in this current… struggling to stay afloat and hanging onto as much of their old life as possible. 

What is worse is that so many of my fellow countrymen have come down with that neo-fascist fever. They come down to the banks not to help but to cheer. They shout “Let ‘em drown! That’s what they deserve!” They keep cheering even as they, themselves, fall in. 

I get a hold of a good size branch. Maybe this will hold. Maybe I can pull myself out now. I don’t know. I am beat up and maybe broken in a couple of places and cold… so fucking cold.  I will admit I am not the best help to myself anymore. I have lost and lost and lost and lost and lost. I am not above operant conditioning…. learned helplessness… or to put it more accurately… Absolute and Total Exasperation. 

I find myself at the library checking my email on my iPhone. The service is shut off but it still works with wi-fi. This is life in the 21st Century. 

This is life in the 21st Century?

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