5 reasons Valentine's Day is the worst day of the year
Current mood: drunk
Perhaps if I had any money Tax Day would be the worst day
of the year but , for now, V-Day ranks as the most vile and obscene day of the
!. February sucks. The weather sucks (up North anyway) and you're still broke from Xmas and your heating bills have peaked and the month is short so in no time you're heading to the pawn shop to cover March's rent. Every day in February pretty much blows.
2. If you're lucky enough to have a lover, then Valentine's Day is an obligation. It is something you're supposed to do. Obviously I hate doing what I'm supposed to do anyway but, to me, it isn't even romantic. It is a make-up day for all the losers who don't make their lover feel special on a regular basis.
3. I prefer to sprinkle sweet little surprises and pleasures on my girl when she needs it. Like after a bad Monday in April. Any random night is a better night to celebrate love than the premeditated commercial gouge fest we call Valentine's Day.
4. What is worse is that when you don't have anybody (almost always the case for yours truly...), the whole fucking world reminds you that you're a loser for four weeks straight. It is like a final kick in the teeth after the Holidays already beat the living shit out of your lonely ass.
5. Lastly, it is just like every other American Holiday. All you hear is that you need to go out and buy something. Buy her flowers. Buy her chocolates. Buy her dinner in a fancy restaraunt. Buy buy buy and bye.... I have always refused. I'm not saying I'm cheap. I'll take a girl out and all that but never on this wretched day. No way. This is a day we rip each other's clothes off and stay naked until the sun rises and the demon that is St. Valentine is returned to Hell where he belongs.... We buy nothing and have a damn good time saving our money. I'm sure we'll think of better things to do than visiting the florist. I'll do that on her birthday when the florist will appreciate the business and she'll be loving the flowers all the more because they won't be for a dead Saint. They will be for her.