Monday, April 09, 2007

to the lost souls of myspace...
Current mood: drunk

I noticed that the "sponsored links" on my page are all about the Bible. Apparently, they're timing their ads to coincide with Easter. Go figure. Once again, them Christians are out to hijack another holiday. This time our revered festival of the White Bunny and colorful eggs. Now they're saying it is really the festival of the resurrected Messiah. Whatever...

I can let you all on a secret. About ten years ago I took some liquid LSD and meditated in the nude under cascading waves of Greatful Dead bootlegs and learned that I am the new Messiah. I had hoped that this would change things for the better but, in fact, when I announced this to my friends they simply laughed and told me to put something on. I spent a few days preaching down on Mill Avenue but, in the end,  I had to find a day job and I was only able to be a Messiah part time. Eventually, I gave up on it altogether. There's no money in it.

So, all you lost in myspace souls, I'll save you the trouble of studying the Bible and having to go through life trying to be a good Christian. Don't bother. As your Messiah I can assure that I don't care about you and I'm not going to save you. I have enough trouble dragging my damn self through this lowly realm!