Little is known about the author, Dante Allegheny. What we have learned comes from a file attributed to a police bureaucracy known as the Federal Bureau of Investigation. According to the file, Dante was a “troublemaker and boob”. He had been arrested several times at protests. Though a complete ineffectual waste of time that usually led to nothing more than a criminal record and an FBI file (as it did for Dante), protests were common at the time in the United States.

 

It should be noted that although the United States claimed to be a democracy there was only two parties. Both were run by the and for extremely rich people. Since very few people were actually extremely rich it is easy to see why people like Dante would stoop to protesting.

 

One of the first reports of Dante come from an undercover agent codenamed Dirk Diggler who had infiltrated Dante’s group of protesters. He describes him as follows.

 

Dante is yet another typical hippie weirdo. He has a long hair, beard, wears garage sale clothes and does not even wear shoes. He has clear Socialist leanings and has a bunch of paranoid conspiracy theories about everything from the Kennedy Assassination to 9/11. This is probably a side effect of all that marijuana he smokes. I think he suspects me because I will not smoke with him. This is typical of those drug addicts. The simple fact that he doesn’t own a TV makes it apparent that he will be difficult to neutralize. I believe he may someday pose a threat to our government and should be watched closely.

 

Dante’s file goes on to describe his increasing activism “defending” the environment. According to the report, he once nearly starved to death after chaining himself to a tree to stop a logging operation. Unfortunately, not only did Dante lose the key to bike lock he used on himself, the logging operation was going on unhindered several miles away. Ironically, he was discovered by two gay loggers trying to find a little privacy. They rescued him but only after he agreed to certain “concessions”.

 

After that incident, Dante had apparently become frustrated with the attitude of apathy that was so common in his time and his actions became more militant. His first arrest followed an attempt to sabotage construction equipment in a place called New Mexico. Though he was successful in flattening tires and pulling ignition wiring out of several bulldozers, he was quickly caught when he was unable to start his own car parked nearby.

 

After serving ten months in jail, he returned to his “activism” and tried unsuccessfully to set fire to a housing development that encroached upon a pristine wilderness in Colorado. After a series of mishaps, a fire broke out in the forest and Dante was arrested trying to contain the blaze. Ironically, all the structures were saved but several thousand acres of forest burned to the ground.

 

At that time, “ecotage” was classified as a form of terrorism and made into a capital crime. Historians often point out that in the so called 21st Century, property held more rights and value than living beings including humans. No one has been able to explain this phenomenon fully. As a result, Dante was sentenced to death and it is most likely that his Mundane Comedie was written while awaiting his execution.

 

 

 

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