WHIPPLE INTERVIEWS WHIPPLE...

WHIPPLE : You have been described as blues, "alt." country, folk, among others. What kind of music do you play?

WHIPPLE: Mine.

WHIPPLE: So... Do you feel you have an identity problem?

WHIPPLE: Yes... In fact, every other year or so I have to get really fuckin' drunk, shave my head, change my name, and move to another state.

WHIPPLE: So, after moving ten times in ten years, do you feel you're getting closer to being who you want to be?

WHIPPLE: No... Each time I get more embarrassing.

WHIPPLE: You write songs about being drunk, broke, and lonely. Is it because you  have low self esteem?

WHIPPLE: No... I am really good at being a loser. Besides there's too much competition among musicians hyping themselves and bragging about how great they are. We're flooded with so much fuckin' hype these days its a wonder we can step outside without hip boots and a gasmask. There's less competition in bragging about how much you suck.

WHIPPLE: Are you saying that you're not up to the competition?

WHIPPLE: No, like I said, I am really good at being a loser.

WHIPPLE: Your songs are always so sad and angry- even tragic. Why don't you write something happy?

WHIPPLE: Happy music makes me angry and miserable.

WHIPPLE: What's your secret with women?

WHIPPLE: Make them laugh so don't realise how miserable of a time they're having with you.

WHIPPLE: That's good. So why are such a failure with women?

WHIPPLE: They just don't get it.

WHIPPLE: You wrote a song called "Heaven's Full of Assholes". So what do you think of God?

WHIPPLE: He's either pure evil or a reckless drunk.

WHIPPLE: Where the hell are you shoes?

WHIPPLE: I left them or they left me. I don't miss them much.

WHIPPLE: So now you're barefoot? Are you nuts?

WHIPPLE: Shoes are overrated. Besides, I save a lot of money by being kicked out of places where I might spend it if I had half the chance.

WHIPPLE: So what's next for you?

WHIPPLE: I'm going to get really fuckin' drunk, shave my head, change my name, and move to another state. What else?